We are a family with five children. Two sons, 19 and 14; and three daughters,
18, 16, and 11. We have lived in extremely rural America for the past
ten years farming and homesteading. We left TV behind when we moved
and have never looked back. The children have in this time learned to
read, write, do advanced math, carve wood, computer program, draw, paint,
build houses, plumb, run wires, sew clothes, toys and quilts, hunt with
bows and arrows and guns, drive cars, trucks and tractors, keep bees,
raise milking goats, care for orphan calves and goat kids (including
injecting medicines), go to college, play, make up inventions, make
us laugh and just plain hang around some times.
Instead of TV, we live. We don't have to handle others, they have to
conform to us! When anyone comes here, they get swept up in the activity
as well—if they're bored, well then, too bad.
How do we manage this? We are not complete Luddites. We do have a large
screen TV and DVD player. We do watch movies during the long winter
nights. Summer is too full to get involved with movies. It was a compromise
with my husband, who really is very fond of movies and I being one who
would rather read in my spare time. So rather than fight it, I said
OK, then joined. When our children watch movies we always always always
watch with them. We laugh, we examine, we boo, we cheer and we shut
it off when it is too dumb! In this way, our children are very culture
savvy without the advertising—they see it coming and know how it
works. They have been able to learn how the technology is powerful and
what it does. They do not thirst for it, and they aren't addicted to
it. TV on at grandparents' homes is an insult and they often choose
to go elsewhere then sit all night in front of Gramma's TV. It is sad,
but for whom?
Comments I hear about my children are: "They are so well-behaved."
"Obviously someone spent some time with these children." "How
did they get so smart?" "You have such nice kids." And
a final one about my oldest from his college prof: "Your son is
intellectually gifted." All of this from two regular people grown
up in the culture of the day who chose to take responsibility for their
quality of life and get the most out of it.
Other parents can really think about what they are doing and why they
had children in the first place. Really examine what you want. What
does time to yourself really mean? How can you incorporate a small child
into what you are doing? Let them have knives and cut up veggies for
dinner, let them sit next to you or on you as you (try to) read a book
or the paper. Give them lots of paper and paints, and opportunities
to make a mess. Don't be a neat-nik with little ones. Get down and dirty
every day. If you have a yard, have a dumptruck full of sand delivered
next to the swing set every year. This is guaranteed to produce an engineer!
Go swimming with your children (if you hate bathing suits, wear exercise
clothes). Don't let others do for you what you could do. Forget lessons
and endless car trips. Just do it yourself. Kids are supremely resourceful.
So are you, if you just give it a chance.
As my children are getting older, I do look back with amazement at where
the time went. I am grateful that we did homeschool (by the trust-your-instinct
method!) and that I still have an 11-year-old girl who has a stable
of toy horses and dolls under our pool table that she plays with everyday.
I am so shocked to witness the creativity of a rather old child who
has not been jaded by society and feels so free, she plays and makes
up all kinds things and then becomes grown up when she reads to me a
story she thinks I'd enjoy. And she is right.
You really know you have a life when you don't have TV.
I just remembered
something else that is interesting. My children have not seen full-screen
TV images of the Sept. 11 attacks. They only viewed video clips on CNN
on the computer. That was more than enough. I am glad they don't have
images of bodies and death and destruction in their brains. They have
been able to comprehend this disaster by reading about it and asking
lots of questions. When they are ready, they deal with it. They are
not afraid. They are concerned and are learning as much as they can.
I think they feel more able to control events—instead of being
bombarded with misery and helplessness.
Anyway, that is how I see it.
Hope this helps you and maybe some others to consider turning off the
tube!
Sue
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